on my mind this week.....
take a moment to appreciate....
In today's supremely connected world, it strikes me as harder and harder to stop and notice what is truly valuable.
More than ever, people are telling me they feel overwhelmed on a regular basis, and that despite the ease of connectivity....or maybe because of it.....disconnected. That lack of connection usually includes with ourselves, which is a hole that we often seek to fill with more and more 'stuff' - unhelpful behaviours, material belongings etc....all things that actually we know do not help us, but are drawn towards none the less.....but that's not what I was going to muse on here, another time maybe! In terms of advice and resources, there are plenty of good items out there, but they can get lost or overlooked in the sheer volume or emails and websites. And also it can become all too easy to keep searching for an instant solution, a bit like dieting, the next 'big thing' that will induce results, and that striving can become overwhelming in itself A favourite quote of mine, as above, from Arthur Ashe..... "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can" I love this as it seems so forgiving, for me it stops that urgent sense of striving, enables me to reset - and actually get on with something rather than feel overwhelmed!! Learning mindfulness can help us to come back to the moment, simplifying it, training us to appreciate what is happening rather than scatter our attention in a dozen different places. Giving our full attention to an activity or a loved one can make a massive difference to that moment. In this way we can also pause and truly notice what we are doing, rather than leaving it to the realms of the sub conscious......then we choose to change our behaviours if we find that we would like to do so. In the introduction to mindfulness and meditation and relaxation course I teach, I also include exercises and strategies that we can all use, to help us start to look at the ways we spend our days, and to see whether there may be more harmonious and productive ways of being, to reclaim a few moments peace. Sometimes, just one small change can pave the way to a big difference in how we feel. Take for instance, being grateful, a concept known as useful in folklore with such sayings as 'count your blessings' etc. Modern research is proving an attitude of gratitude to be really beneficial for our wellbeing and it's usually catching! So how often do you do it? Stop now and think of 3 things that you are grateful for....if it's hard, that's probably just a sign that you are out of practice! How about simple things like the lunch you had today, the fact that you are warm and dry, the last funny moment you shared with someone, a lovely hot cuppa, warm feet.....actually the list is usually endless. That's not to say I think we should all be smiling all of the time, of course not. It's just that if we spend too much time in a negative mindset, that influences the way we see the world and how we interact with it....a bit of a downward spiral. So gratitude is just one way we can take back the reins and improve our daily outlook. It's a great way to end the day, write 3-5 things down just before you go to sleep, and a lovely family activity over dinner or at bedtime :) see these articles for more info on gratitude http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/21/gratitude-healthy-benefits_n_2147182.html http://www.goodnessgraciousme.com/gratitude-the-wonder-drug/
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8/4/2014 0 Comments more on meditation....I have been listening to a lot of work by Osho recently, one of the great contemporary mystics of our time, a prolific speaker and writer who has left us a huge legacy. One of the areas of his work that I think is very applicable to today being his thoughts on a meditation practice being individual, so for each of us that can be different.
This inclusive approach can mean that for all of you who say 'I can't meditate because I can't sit still' there is hope.....you don't need to sit still. There are a lot of myths surrounding the art of meditation that put a lot of people off. Many assume that it belongs in the domain of the 'hippy', needing to dress in a certain way, hold particular world views or religious affiliations and sit cross legged under a tree in order to 'meditate'....this is absolutely not so. Anyone who wishes to reconnect with their own sense of inner peace can develop a meditation habit, and anyone who is feeling stressed, unable to focus, experiencing fatigue, anxiety of insomnia will benefit.....so that's just about all of in the modern world then!! The good news is that even a few minutes a day can be extremely helpful to your stress levels. Osho describes meditation very simply as 'nothing but the discovery of the inner sense' as the time when the mind, body and spirit are all in harmony. For many people this may be best achieved when doing something physical such as running or cycling. As with everything, building any habit takes practice and regularity, starting small to avoid getting disheartened and building it up. Joining a group or attending a course gives support and encouragement which can be very helpful in the early days, or at times in our life when we wander of track and get jaded with something. All of this is normal, and as I repeatedly say, one of the most important elements is to be kind and encouraging to yourself. The way you speak to yourself is very important, as you are listening and positive self talk is so much more helpful than negative.......but thats a different topic!! For help and support with any aspects of starting and maintaining a meditation practice, or for groups and course near you, drop me a line Mindfulness practice helps us to cultivate the ability to notice in a non judgemental fashion exactly what is going on in our lives, becoming conscious rather than running on auto-pilot. Once we become aware, we can start to notice the 'stories' that we are telling ourselves and the ways we are habitually behaving. Then we can choose to keep that way or make an intention to adopt a more fruitful course of action/behaviour.
As an hypnotherapist, I ascribe to the view that much of what we do is programmed into us during our early years and we continue to run those 'programmes' until we develop a need to change our behaviours. Recently there has been much more work on the area of neuroplasticity, proving that the old adage 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' isn't true in this respect. It is never to late to learn new and more positive ways of behaving and Mindfulness practice gives us a way in, because once become aware of what we say and do we can make choices...look up Rick Hanson and Bruce Lipton for more work in this area Then we can start to become aware that our thoughts are just that, thoughts, not truths, and we don't have to believe them. We can change them, and choose the thought that feels best. If you're not sure whether that will help or hadn't ever pondered how your thoughts affect you....try this - recall a time when you were really happy, bring to mind an event that went really well....maybe a party or your birthday, a date or some other fun time, with no negative connotations. Close your eyes and really think about that event, recall how you felt, who was there, what you were wearing, what people said, what time it was, now really revel in that feeling......do you feel better than when you are dwelling on a day that went really badly? So we can influence how we feel by which thoughts we choose to think, yet somehow we often go for the worst ones! the worries, anxieties, the 'what it's'...Rick Hanson describes it as our brains are velcro for negative thoughts and teflon for positive - harking back to a time when we needed to be on the alert for danger and threats. Nowadays though we live in a constant state of high alert, over small and not always 'real' things, maybe concerns over what may happen, or what someone thinks of us, which may all be highly subjective and open to our perception, so if we are looking at it from a pessimistic angle it may be a whole lot different to the eye that we use on a 'good day'. The good news is we can all learn skills to help us train our minds, so we can get the best out of them! Here is where mindfulness and meditation come in I recently ran a course on Mindfulness, Meditation and Relaxation - here's what one of the attendees said.... "I thought I was going to learn how to make the most of the present , but it goes so much further than that - the course touched on general psychological and emotional well-being, and has helped me to handle my darkest moments, choosing not to let them affect me as they usually do......I don't work in a high pressure environment....but I do get entangled in emotional turmoil and mind games, paranoia, giving myself a hard time etc and that's where it helped me - to distance myself from myself - to go a bit easier on myself and stop giving myself such a hard time" Polly Brighton So wherever you are, stop and take a deep breath, and let it out, now take another one and let that out....good, thats a start. Your mission for the next few days is to start to notice your self talk, and observe, would you speak like that to anyone else? Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a trusted and loved friend.....so no to the 'oh you're so slow' 'damn that was a stupid mistake' and don't go anywhere near the judgements on how bad/old/etc you look!!! As the Dalai Lama says, 'Be kind, whenever possible. it is always possible' and that starts with yourself. So back to the pauses....... Stop and take a couple of deep breaths next time something presses your buttons, providing that pause time and observe what is going on, without judgement, with kindness and without the need to change it. It may help to follow these steps from Tara Brach (check out her work) with the handy acronym RAIN R Recognise what is happening A Allow life to be just as it is I Investigate with an Intimate attention N Non-identification, rest in Natural awareness or how about this one, I saw a dear friend of mine at the weekend and she has come up with her own, we had a chuckle that it spells SNAP - so use it before you do! S Stop N Notice A Accept P Patience ....in finding short ways that work for us under pressure, humorous ones are good, we increase our ability of accessing this wisdom. For more info on Mindfulness check out my page and get in touch for one to one sessions and courses Namaste 7/3/2014 0 Comments yoga nidraI am taking over a yoga nidra class this evening, at The Wild Dove centre in Hassocks, so am very excited about that.
For those who have not heard of it, yoga nidra is a powerful guided meditative practice, whereby the listener reaches a deep state of relaxation, yogic sleep, which is deeply restorative, connecting them back to themselves. It is not commonly taught, it is a fairly unknown treasure in the world of yoga, which is very surprising given its benefits. Anyone can practice it, there is no religious affiliation or knowledge required. There is no movement, the listener just lays down or remains seated for the practice, which can be from 15-60 minutes long. I first came across this practice a couple of years ago and have gotten so hooked, that since January I have made it part of my daily routine! It is a fantastic resource for helping you cope with stress, improving energy, improving sleep amongst other benefits. Yoga nidra offers 'tools' to cope with the stresses and strains of daily life. It rests, restores and renews the whole body, mind and spirit. The nervous system benefits from total relaxation, and it is effortless, the listener just follows the spoken word to be guided into a state of yoga nidra. Other benefits reported are enhanced creativity, better clarity, improved concentration and fewer physical symptoms....all with no side effects. All that is needed is a quiet space and a guide, there are many cd's and recordings available, or better still find yourself a class and give yourself the ultimate in relaxation! I will be teaching on Thursday evenings at 7.30, so drop me a line if you are interested in joining the class Namaste 6/20/2014 0 Comments Sit spotsThere's a lovely article in this summer's edition of Permaculture on connecting with nature, surely one of the best ways to soften those shoulders down and de-stress a little. I think us Brightoner's have it really good on that front, firstly we have the sea,.....its a wonderful meditative practice to sit on the beach and breathe in and out with the rise and fall of the waves, matching your breathing to the sound. And yes, its actually better with a pebble beach, before you start to ridicule our lack of sand, as the sound of the pebbles as the waves rise and fall add to the hypnotic effect.
Do try it, feeling yourself lulled by the sound, calmness entering as you breathe in, and breathing out any worries to be carried back out to sea, continue breathing in this way for a few breaths, to the sound of the waves..... if you like, you can even close your eyes and imagine a little boat, that you pile all of your cares and concerns into, all of your upsets and worries, fears, tensions....the whole lot!! then when the boat is full, in your minds eye, push it out to sea, to take your nasty cargo far far away. Don't worry it will dissolve in the water eventually and be recycled by the depths into fish food!! We also have the Downs, which brings me back to the article I mentioned. One of the sections is on the lovely practice of developing a 'Sit Spot". This is an outdoor place that you visit, ideally daily, to connect with nature. The aim being that you visit the same spot at different times of the day over the year. In this way, witnessing nature in all of it's stages, building a deep relationship with that spot, observing change, noting impermanence, the sense of security that we can observe from the cycle of life. We see still times, busy times, bare and abundant times and they just keep on coming, oblivious to whether we are there or not, ever changing but always present, always something to see, if we are mindful and open. Even the rich browns of the bare earth in winter, the sight of frost, smells, sounds or lack of. This can help us to realise that all things change, ebb and flow, which can be helpful if we are having a particularly difficult time. This too shall pass... Do you have anywhere you return to again and again? How does that feel? Are you a tree or a beach type of person? As much as I love sitting on the beach, trees come in slightly in front for me! |
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