One of the commonest themes I come across in my work is that people put themselves last, or treat others much better than they treat themselves. Somehow we have got this idea that its selfish to look after ourselves, and wrong to have a positive regard for ourself.
We indulge in negative self talk, self criticism and unreasonable expectations. It seems that we can only love ourselves once we are perfect....hence the criticism. Mindfulness teaches us to be aware of this self talk and once we are aware of it we can choose otherwise. That's not to say that we shouldn't strive for betterment, no, if there are things you want to aim for, or improve, go right ahead and put that plan into action......just don't make your love for yourself conditional. If we all loved ourselves for who we are, regardless, then we would feel happier and healthier, and more likely to be able to improve at things as we wouldn't be wasting so much energy berating ourselves.
Soooo whether you have a valentine or not, start to treat yourself with love. Don't wait for someone to cook you a nice meal, do that anyway. Buy yourself a bunch of flowers or a bar of chocolate. Don't mooch around in your oldest tattiest clothes.....there is someone important who can see you - that's you! Send messages to yourself that you are important, because you are. My favoured saying this week is the wisdom from Buddha
"you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"
Have a lovely week Jane